if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
