Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
