Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
