Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
