It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
