coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize