break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There r osticjed everywhere
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
