If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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