Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
