Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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