yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
