Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
