You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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