Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
