these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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