Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize