You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
