YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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