She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
