OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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