I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
