I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
