Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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