Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
