Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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