and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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