I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
