They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
