"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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