i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize