OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
