We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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