this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
