I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
