We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
