She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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