Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
