My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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