maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize
