I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
