He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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