Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
