im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
