just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
