i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize