You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
