If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
