She's JV to your varsity
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
