We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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