I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
