he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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