It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize