One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
