meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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