someone get that fucking seahorse.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Damn victory sex feels great
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
