In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I didn't notice because vodka
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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