Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
